A Little More Conversation, A Little Less Action

They say that nothing can prepare you for having kids. Well, I am so over that phrase.

When I was engaged, people told me how hard marriage is and how different life would be. I heard lots of statements like, "your life will change more than you know," and "you can't imagine what marriage is going to be like until it happens." Those things are true, even though they are kind of annoying to hear. I mean, there's a first time for everything, and there's always something you can do to prepare.

So before Ryan and I walked down the aisle, we did as much preparation as we could. We read the best books, had deep discussions about our goals and learned how to maintain a loving, respectful relationship. We got premarital counseling from three pastors and good advice from honest friends who weren't afraid to tell us about the horrors of the first year of marriage. (Turns out, it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be.)

So how in the heck do you prepare for having kids? I can't claim to have the answer to that, but since Ryan and I are in the "not quite trying to have kids" phase, I thought I'd start with something as natural as sleeping in on a Saturday: conversation.

Ryan and I talk about kids almost as often as the media talks about Michael Jackson. We talk about how we will raise them, what they will look like, and what their names will be. We wonder about their personalities, whether we'll have boy or girl first, and hope that they have zero allergies and the same taste in music as we do. So far it sounds like we will have a Tball-playing blonde boy named Something Awesome who will be calm, brilliant and fun-loving. He musical tastes will include classical, indie-pop, country, and hip-hop, with a special affection for BNL and Vivaldi. And he won't know what a t.v. is until he's three.

Here is my bubble:
And here is you NOT bursting it:


This is not to say all of our conversations about kids are a joyful experience. Once, we were disagreeing about how to handle our dog Daisy* and it morphed into "what are we going to do when we disagree about disciplining the kids?" We had a very productive conversation about hypothetical situations. You parents are probably rolling your eyes at me, because you know that all the best intentions and theories about how you'll raise your kids tend to lose luster in the face of real-life situations. But hey, it's good to discuss, right?

I know that as soon as we are pregnant, we'll be reading like mad and getting good advice from our wise friends and family, as well as unsolicited advice from strangers accompanied with a belly-rub. But in the meantime, we're happy having conversations about the future and watching Supernanny.

*You will think my pants are on fire, but this happens very seldom.