10 Reasons I'm Glad We Don't Have Kids Right Now

Baby fever, I have heard, is what happens when age, hormones, and career disappointment combine to create an undeniable urge to have kids. Or maybe none of those things are a factor. It sounded good while I was writing it. Whatever its origins, I don't consider myself to have baby fever by any means. I'm on a

much less determined path. I like to think deliberately and slowly about nearly all of my decisions. (This is why I have trouble picking a restaurant/movie/church/flavor of gum.) Still, on some days I have a bout of temporary baby fever, and creating a blog on the topic of the decision to have kids is a step in that direction.

So here's a reality check. If you're in a situation like mine, I'm sure you understand the need to remind yourself of reasons not to have kids right now. Here are my top ten, beginning with the less pertinent stuff.

10. No mom jeans. Ok, I've heard that wearing mom jeans is an optional part of motherhood, but still. Since I'm not a mom I know I don't even qualify for jeans that look like fly-fishing waders and have the added bonus of sitting just a little too short at the ankle.
9. Kids entertainment ≠ my entertainment. It's nice to know that I don't have to spend my Saturday watching the Wiggles or plunking down a stack of cash to see a 3-D Jonas brothers movie. I know some of the family entertainment available these days is pretty good, but I'm proud of the fact that I don't know the words to the Teletubbies theme song—wait—is there even a theme song? I have no idea and that's how I'd like to keep it.
   
8. Whine-free living. We don't have to listen to the protests of tired, fussy kids when we take a 10 hour road trip or stay out too long in the heat without visits to the bathroom or the sno-cone guy. Of course, this allows us to whine a little more freely without confusing said kids. Which reminds me...
   
7. No innocent young ones looking at us to be a role model. Sure, we're pretty good role models as it is, but if we occasionally have a little spat, say some choice words in bad traffic, or leave the dishes dirty for a week, we won't be disappointing anybody but ourselves.
6. We can focus on each other. We have very few distractions when we're together. Our conversation doesn't revolve around what little Billy said today or whether we're low on diapers. We can gaze longingly into each others' eyes for hours on end. In theory.
5. We can move without disrupting a kid's life. Ryan and I have lived in 3 different states since we've been married, something that would have been a lot harder if we had kids. We have at least one more move in our future, so it's nice to know we won't be uprooting any little ones...unless you count Daisy, who seems to adapt to change pretty easily, especially if a dog park is involved.
4. I can enjoy my own sleep schedule. I haven't woken up in the middle of the night since 1987. Not only do I sleep through the night like the grown up that I am, I don't use an alarm clock. I wake up every day around 6:15 naturally, without experiencing a disrupted REM cycle and certainly without hearing the cries of a child who needs me right now. I plan on enjoying every last second of this while it lasts.
   
3. Freeeeedom. We can spend our free time doing whatever we want. We can change our plans at the last minute. If we want to go on a date, we go, no sitter required. Both of us have hobbies that we couldn't do as easily with babies/young kids. That being said, I would love to sacrifice my "freedom" for a kid someday. Lately I feel like I'm filling my time with mundane stuff (blogging?) and every time Ryan and I go on an outing over the weekend, we feel like we'd love to be sharing it with kids. But wait. That should go on the list for reasons to have kids. My bad.
   
2. My job is our only income. Ryan was unable to keep his part-time job when his internship started. This means he does awesome work that he isn't getting paid for. I'm making enough to support us, but things would be drastically different if we added a baby to the family. Not to mention losing money to maternity leave and the fact that I think I'd like to stay home with a baby.
   
1. No health insurance. I know, this is awful. I have a great job, but the insurance policies are ridiculously expensive, so we've been without it for more than 7 months. We keep talking about getting our own affordable plan, maybe using this website for quotes. If you're wondering about the cost to have kids without insurance, check out this post from a couple who have done it and paid upwards of $10,000. They are self-employed and got pregnant unexpectedly.
   

Well, that wraps up Gradually More and More Depressing Lists with Laura. Tune in next time for Why I'm Glad We Can't Take an Exotic Vacation, followed by All the Places I Don't Have Joint Pain Yet. And try not to hold your breath.